I still remember the first day I worked at Disney in 2009. I was scared to death, because the Dianna in me was freaking out, as usual. The first guest I ever dealt with as a cast member came to my register. It was register 2 at the Imagination Pavilion. My trainer was standing next to me and I froze for a second, scared to death thinking about what was going to happen next, entirely unsure of myself, with my mind speeding through every possible scenario of how I would mess this up. Then, the guest spoke. "Hi! Is there any way I could get this shipped to my room, please?" Her little girl beside her kept messing with the little bouncy balls that we keep by the counter. It was so normal. She had no idea I was training. Her confidence in my abilities to do my job, and the complete calmness she held completely overwhelmed me. And then, just like that, all that worrying went away and I just did it! I did my job. And I did it right. And it was awesome!
The same thing happened at safaris just months ago. I was nearly paralyzed with fear as I drove up to the dock to pick up what would be my first set of real guests ever! I stopped the truck and put it in park and just sat there for a second. I think I may have even told my trainer, "I can't do it. I can't." I was nearly crying. He told me to say the word. The code word we have to say showing that we're ready for guests to board. "Karibuni everybody!" I said in the most confident voice I could muster, still shaking with fear. The gates opened and the people flooded on. As they were chatting amongst themselves, finding their seats, I realized their confidence in me. Their confidence in Disney, really. Confidence that this ride would be worth the money. Worth the wait. And their confidence that I could present them with that. And then, just like that, all that worrying went away and I did it. I continued my spiel not even thinking about worrying. There was so much stuff to think about there was no more room in my brain for the worrying. And I did it!
Now I'm encountering those same feelings again as I train this job. I feel like each time it gets progressively harder. Today, as my trainer had me answer phone calls and even call a manager for an update, I felt those same feelings rush back. I called the Future World East manager. My hand was shaking the radio as I said, "Hi, this is Dianna at Deployment, are you ready for an update?" My mind was racing with worries of the manager hating me, of stumbling over my words, of not knowing what to say, of saying too many things, of getting things wrong, all the way down to the computer suddenly crashing. She responded, "Oh yes! I'm so glad to hear form you because I was just going to call you. I needed your help with something else, but go ahead and give me the updates and then I'll tell you what I need too. Actually it's two things, but go ahead with your update." No questions asked, she had confidence in me and my abilities to do my job right down to the point where she had questions for me. A manager. In EPCOT. With problems... for me to solve. Me! But I did it. Just like that, the worrying went away, and I did it. And I fixed the problems she had, with help from my trainer, of course! :)
And so continues a circle in my life. The lackage and then gainage (I know they're not words. Deal with it.) of confidence. I'm grateful for the lessons I learn here at Disney. I'm glad I can trust my trainers never to give me more than I can handle. I am learning so much not only about the company, but about myself. I'm (hopefully) becoming a better person with every semester. I don't think I'll ever fully be confident with myself. But that's okay. I like me anyways.
Also, I like Disney. And my job. And my friends. A whole, stinking lot.
3 comments:
Isn't the concept of "eternal progression" wonderful? You face challenges, you master them, and then you face bigger challenges, and master them, too. Of course, you have to realize that sooner or later, you will indeed fail, fall down, stumble, and watch as your hard work crumbles into dust. But that's also part of the challenge -- to be able to fail once in a while (sometimes several times in a row) and yet, get right back up again, and go face the next challenge with as much gusto and enthusiasm as ever. Welcome to the good part of adult life.
I get that same feeling every time there is a new computer to fix. Or someone at church calls with a problem. New problems are scary! New experiences!
Talking on the radios ALWAYS freaked me out. I can facilitate an 8 hour orientation class, easy peasy. Hand me a radio and ask me to call DME about something? TERROR.
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