I, personally, have dealt with every one of these...
"What time is the parade?" (as the parade is literally coming down the street at that very second) "Oh, well where's the best spot to see it from?" (at this point... just go home! you'll get a better view on youtube)
*on their way to exit, with tickets out and ready* "Where do we insert these?" (no need to insert tickets to leave the park) "Oh... well how are we supposed to get out then?" (just walk through the turnstile... it's okay, I promise) "They just turn?" (yes, I promise)
"Do you get wet on Splash Mountain?" (....... O.o ...........no)
"Where can I get a hot dog?" (Casey's Corner, right over there) "No, I'm sick of waiting in lines. Where can I get a hot dog without waiting in line?" (um, are you aware that you are in Disney World? Line capital of the world?)
"Can you tell me which direction the giant Mickey's Sorcerer's hat is in?" (umm... that's in Hollywood Studios... which is an entirely different park) "Okay, so can I go through the castle to get there?" (*facepalm*)
"How do I get to Disney World from here?" (again... *facepalm*)
"Why is it raining?" "When will it stop raining?" (sorry, I'll check with Mickey about controlling the weather more to your satisfaction)
"What's the wait time for the Jungle Cruise?" (yeah, since I'm a cast member I magically know the wait times of every ride in the whole park every minute all day long.... no wait. No I don't. Let's go with 20 minutes?)
"Is Walt's body really held inside a crypt in the castle?" "How much does it cost to see Walt's body?"
"Where is the exit?" (all the way down to your right) "But there's a rope up! How am I supposed to get over there!?" (well, let's see... you could go five feet around it... or under it... or over it... just don't try to go through it)
"Why is it called the castle stage?" (because it's a stage... and there's a giant castle behind it) "Castle? What castle? Where?" (right in front of your face)
*walking completely opposite from the exit* "This is the way to the exit, right?" (umm.. actually no... unfortunately when people ask this question they never stop to actually listen to an answer so I never get to tell them directions on how to really get to the exit... they just keep walking and I've stopped fighting it. If you walk away before letting me answer a question I'm not gonna answer it)
"Excuse me, do you work here?" (no, I just like to wear this ridiculous car freshener costume and Disney nametag to be funny... in their defense though we used to have a regular guest who somehow got hold of a fake nametag and impersonated a cast member...)
"Can I sit here?" (considering there's a taped X on the ground and no one else is there five minutes before the parade, probably not, no) "Oh, I thought X marked the place where I was supposed to be sitting..." (no, X marks the place where I get to sit. sorry to burst your bubble)
And my personal favorite that I got just last night:
"Excuse me, how do I get to Magic Kingdom from here?" (um... you're in the Magic Kingdom...)
On a more considerate note, when you're on vacation, you really do leave your brain behind. I'm sure I asked my fair share of stupid questions on our cruise. I'm sure I've looked like a total bimbo plenty in my lifetime. The people who asked these probably all could have figured out the answers themselves, but the face that they're on vacation means lack of thinking, and lack of thinking means fun stories for others. Just thought I'd point that out, I'm sure we've all had these moments. :)
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