How To Be The First Off An Airplane

I learned a lesson yesterday. Very valuable. It all happened during my flight from Salt Lake to Denver. Just a one hour flight, right?

Well, I got on the plane feeling fine. We took off, one of my favorite parts of the ride. We were in the air. I started feeling sick. Really really sick. I grabbed the barf bag and looked at it. I felt sicker. I pulled out my tray thing and rested my head on it after putting the barf bag back in the pocket. My ears started going all weird. As if they were inside a bubble... everything sounded muffled. I vaguely noticed the stewardess making her way down the aisle with drinks. My ears were now muffled worse and I started seeing black spots... not to mention I kept pulling out the barf bag, certain I'd puke and then putting it back in the seat, determined to not need it.

The stewardess got to me. I was in the aisle seat. There was a man in the window seat to my right. I heard her ask through my muffled ears if I wanted a drink. I tried to say water... I'm not sure anything came out. "Do you need water, you said?" "No. No... actually... just.... bathroom!" I was trying really hard to talk. The man to my right looked at me, "You don't look so good..." "Bathroom!" I said again. "Where's the bathroom?"

The stewardess pulled her cart out of the way and pointed to the back of the plane. The black dots in my vision were getting worse and I was so tired. I was getting even more tired. I grabbed the backs of people's seats as I stood up. I didn't even notice until later that I think the people were actually leaning forward in their seats for me to grab the backs. The black dots were getting thicker and I couldn't even hear muffles anymore.

And then I was dreaming. I was asleep, in a nice comfortable place. Finally asleep, right where I needed to be. It felt so good! I heard muffled voices. They were saying things like, "Is she okay?" "I think she passed out!" "Somebody check her pulse!" "Did she faint?"

Who fainted? I'm an EMT! I can help! Who passed out!? Maybe I should help them. I tried to open my eyes. I was looking up into about eight people's faces from the floor of the aisle of the plane. Everyone was staring at me. I couldn't believe it. I was so comfortable here. This was a dream. I closed my eyes again, but the voices continued.

This can't be happening! It can't be real! I'm dreaming. I'll wake up any second. My eyes fluttered open again. Through the black dots I heard more muffled whispers. It slowly but surely occurred to me that this was reality. I was seriously on the floor of a plane passed out.

I started to stand up. The sound was coming back better and better. My vision was getting better. I sat up and the stewardess was right there beside me. I walked back to my seat and sat down. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Then a thought occurred to me. "I'm fine!" I told them. "Don't let them turn the plane around! I'm fine. I promise, I'm totally fine! We have to go to Denver!"

The stewardess assured me they wouldn't land the plane and then asked if I wanted oxygen. I at first said no, but she brought it anyway. As soon as she forced the non-rebreather over my face I felt better. "It happens all the time, dear." She assured me.

Everyone was still staring at me. The guy beside me asked if this happened before. Nope. I kind of have brown outs, but I've never actually gone all the way to the floor. I offered to hold the oxygen tank so the stewardess didn't have to stand there, but for some reason she didn't trust me. So the guy across the aisle had to hold it.

After I started feeling better it occurred to me just how embarrassing the situation was. It was a small plane and I swear every single eye was on me, including the one and only stewardess. The stewardess came back a few minutes later and told me that after we landed they wanted me to stay on the plane a little longer to get me checked out by some medical personnel. "It's local protocol. Do you want me to see if there's a doctor on board now?"

"No, it's fine. Really, I feel fine. It's okay."

I don't even know why she was asking me these questions because she then got up and said over the loudsystem of the plane, "If there's a doctor on board, please press your call button now." I heard about four "dings." I turned around to see the lights coming on one by one. The guy sitting across the aisle and back one seat had hit his button. He came out into the aisle. He told me he was an ER trauma doctor and asked me some questions. He eventually decided it wasn't super serious, recommended I see a doctor when I get home, and went back to his seat.

The lady in front of me turned around. "You're traveling alone?" She said, obviously overhearing our conversation. Her eight year old daughter kept staring at me between the seats. "Yes." I told her. "Well, you have to promise me you'll call your mom as soon as you get off the plane. I have two daughters... and... I just... I feel so bad for your mother not being here right now. Just be sure to call her, okay?" "Yeah, I'm planning on it. It's fine though." Inside my head I was thinking, "Yeah, I'm gonna call her but she probably won't even believe me. It took me long enough laying on the floor to believe me!"

The man to my right turned to me again. "Feeling better?" He asked. "Yeah. The oxygen's really helping." Although every time I removed the non-rebreather from my face to talk I started getting dizzy and sick feeling again.

"You know," he went on, "I was on a plane once where someone had an emergency like that. But after we landed, they actually let that guy get off first instead of having to wait for everyone else to leave. I wonder if they'll do that for you too."

"Yeah, I hope not. I'm already embarrassed enough and I'd feel bad making you guys wait..."

He just smiled. The stewardess already told me that I'd be the one waiting. And my connecting flight wasn't for about an hour and a half so I had time.

The plane eventually landed and came to a stop. Everyone got up and starting getting their luggage and such. I turned to the guy beside me and said that I'd let him out as soon as I could get into the aisle. Then the loudspeaker came on again.

"Will everyone please take their seats for just a moment."

Everyone sat down again surprisingly fast. Then about four EMTs rushed on board and asked hurriedly, "Where's the victim?"

I wanted to melt into the ground. Actually, I half wanted to turn around and look expectantly behind me for whoever they were looking for. Unfortunately, every eye on the plane was still on me and I was the one holding the oxygen tank with a bright yellow cup strapped to my face.

I grabbed my bag as they rushed me off the plane. I chuckled to myself as we passed two wheelchairs and a stretcher as we hurried down the hall into the airport. Seriously? I passed out, I didn't have a heart attack! The main EMT guy I was with asked if I wanted a wheelchair. I told him no and he actually listened to me. We sat down at one of the chairs and soon after, everyone else started filing off the plane.

After making sure I had time before my next flight he explained that they had to do some tests and work for legal reasons. They took my vitals and even did an EKG scan on me. After asking me a ton more questions he apparently decided things looked pretty normal. He asked if I wanted a ride to my next gate. I said no, I'd be fine. I figured getting my blood circulating by walking would be good. He made me promise that I would tell someone if I felt the slightest bit woozy again and told me the only requisite for allowing me to walk to my next gate was if I promised not to collapse.

I was still really shaky and my muscles were beginning to ache. But I didn't think I was going to puke. I think it was at that time that I noticed I never even made it to the bathroom. Actually, as the guy in the aisle across from me told me, I didn't even make it four feet.

Anyway, so if anyone was wondering, in order to make sure you're the first passenger off an airplane, you have to get sick, have a heart attack, or faint. But, you have to realize that you'll be kept for questions for about ten minutes after wards, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. Oh, and also it's highly embarrassing to faint in public.

And if you're wondering I feel fine now. I think it was just a lot of stress and the lack of sleep and food and I had just finished finals and cleaning for white glove and hadn't eaten real food in like a week and was excited to come home and just a pile of things like that all creeping up at me at once. I did fine through my next two planes flights. Felt a little sick, tired, and shaky, but that was all.

The end. :)