Oftentimes when I'm taking a photo, I'll go through and edit parts of it in front of the family. I move the people around and can shrink and enlarge them.
Nine women out of ten will ask me, "Alright, now can you shave off some of that fat right in there?"
What do I say to that!?
5 comments:
"Sure, just let me warm up the chainsaw..." said with a large cheeky smile. :D
That's what you say to a request of that nature.
Claim you can't see it.
Offer them a choice between a machete and a chainsaw.
Inform them that unfortunately, your fat-shaving device is working sideways, so shaving off the fat will make them shorter, not thinner.
If they're not fat, compare them to a picture of one of your Disney characters and act offended that they would call the Disney characters fat, since they're thinner than the "fat" character.
Tell them you could shave off the fat, but when you do, the people working concessions dig it out of the garbage for cooking oil, and management has decided it's better to avoid that situation altogether.
Tell them you would, but that would make the picture bloody, and you get in trouble for taking morbid pictures.
"Sorry, this is a magical photo, not a miracle photo."
"I've ALREADY shaved off 30 pounds. You want me to take off more?"
"Well, that's not really where you need to take it off..."
"Ok, which one are you?"
"A little? A little?!?"
"Ok, I can shave it from there. Where do you want it? ... uh, never mind, I think I know..."
"Okay, how many pounds you want off? Sixty? Eighty? A hundred and ten?"
I can shave off fat, but not skin. Do you really want wrinkles?
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